The Gift of Parkinson’s
In this blog I write in detail how Parkinson’s affected me and how I dealt with it. In the fall of 2020, Parkinson’s descended on me suddenly and fast. Within about two weeks my ability to play was reduced to around 40% of what I could normally do. I slipped down to a grade 4-5 level. So I began to methodically work on retraining my mind and my fingers and gradually regained the previous levels. Because I had to rebuild my technique, I also managed to evade many of my bad habits I practiced before Parkinson’s. Within about 18 months I reached 100% again, but it did not stop there. I keep improving and now can play pieces I never managed before. I think I am now at around 130%.
Another factor that helped me to get here was to understand the mechanisms of Dopamine vs Serotonin (see previous posts). From this I learned that overstimulating Dopamine can cause an addictive situation. I felt a bit that this was happening to me. One month ago I began experimenting with micro-dosing Psilocybin. It has a very relaxing effect on me and I feel a sense of serenity.
On the “Personal Reflections” (#1 & #2) I describe my relationship to Brahms and Schubert. I often had to stay away from much of the Brahms repertoire, because it triggered severe depressions. For the last three weeks I have been almost exclusively practicing Brahms Intermezzi on the piano (I still play the clavichord, hammered dulcimer, tenor horn and recorders as well) and I have had not the slightest sign of being drawn into depression by this music as I was before, even when working on those pieces which Brahms called the “Lullabies for his Sorrows”.
The “gift” of Parkinson’s forced me to regroup and rebuild my music making. This now enables me to play Brahms’ music I love so much, without paying the price of depression.
Reflections 